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Easing anxiety for your child and you
By Jason Thibeault
 There's no getting around the anxiety involved with the first day of childcare but you can minimize the apprehension by getting prepared - and we are here to help! We have put together a plan on what you need to do to ensure that you and your child are fully prepared. Although this article focuses on three groups of children - infants, toddlers, and preschoolers - the principles can be used as a guide for any age group.
So let's get started. Here are a few general guidelines that should be followed for every age group.
Ask the Provider - Always double check with the provider about specific things you may need to bring. For example, some providers require a picture of your child (or child and family) to identify who is picking up your child.
Instructions - You should write out instructions if your child requires any type of special care. For example, make a note if your infant requires a special mix of formula and water or if your toddler can only go to sleep with the blanket completely covering his body.
Immunizations - For all providers, especially for center-based, you should have a record of your child's up-to-date immunizations.
Label - Remember to label everything that your child brings to the center with his or her name. This includes medicine, lunches and snacks, bedding, clothes, etc.
In addition to the items outlined above, you should also consider how you are going to approach dropping your child off on that first day. It will become relatively easy to check them in and kiss them goodbye, as you get more comfortable with the provider. To raise the comfort lever, for both you and your child, consider a staged approach. A few days before the 'official first day' take your child to the provider and stay for an hour or two. You don't need to sit with your child the whole time, just stay around the room. This will provide reassurance for your child.
Drop your child off for an hour or two on the next visit. There's a good chance that your child will cry and maybe even beg for you not to leave. However, it's easier for the child to wait an hour to find out that you are actually coming back for them - rather than the full day. This approach may not be necessary for your child. You know your child and yourself so do what you think is best for both of you in those first few days.
Infants
Infants, by far, require the greatest number of things to bring. Although some may seem obvious (like diapers and food) others, like sheets, may not. Below is a list of things you should bring (or prepare) for each type of provider.
Center-Based/Home-Based Providers - Although different in size, both of these providers generally have the same requirements for infant care.
Supplies - The following is a general list of supplies that most providers require.
- Diapers
- Diaper-Wipes
- Rash Ointment
- Change of Clothes
- Enough Formula (or Breast Milk) to Last the Day
- Baby Food
- Blanket
- Sheets
- Medicine (if applicable)
- Pacifiers (if applicable)
Sleep Aids - Although it's not recommended that you pack any toys (as the provider will usually have a large selection and you don't want one of your toys to fall into the hands of another infant or be mistaken for one of the provider's), you should consider sending a favorite toy or stuffed animal to help them nap if your infant is a fussy sleeper.
One-on-One Child Care - There is little to prepare for a one-on-one provider since the provider will be at your home. However, you should have the following ready for their arrival.
Schedule - Write down your infant's schedule. Be sure to include items such as general eating times, naps, and typical duration of naps.
Supplies - Every infant seems to have a cornucopia of supplies. Make sure you have everything your provider will need in an obvious place. Be sure to include diapers, ointments, wipes, extra clothes, etc.
Medicine - If your infant requires medication, be very specific with the provider on instructions for administering the medication. Be sure to write the instructions down and keep them with the medication.
Toddlers
Toddlers have their own unique needs but, in general, require much of the same items as infants.
Supplies - The following is a general list of supplies that most providers require.
- Diapers
- Diaper Wipes (or Underwear)
- A Change of Clothes
- Medicine (if applicable)
- Sleep Aids - A special "blankie' for example.
- 'Sippy Cups' with Enough Milk to Last the Day
- Swimsuit, Towel, and Swim Shoes (if applicable)
- A Jacket (if applicable)
Make sure you take a moment to pick an outfit that will be practical for your toddler. Consider the weather, activities, and needs such as potty training (overalls could hinder potty training). Also remember that most providers do not allow sandals.
Preschoolers
Dropping off a child in the preschool age can be both easier and harder. On the easier side they require far less packing and planning. For both center-based and home-based providers you will probably just need to bring a lunch, medicine (if applicable), and a change of clothes. The more difficult part is that they will can articulate their feelings verbally and will continuously left you know if they don't want to be dropped off at a care provider - and can be more manipulative about making you feel guilty.
Focus on building positive associations for the upcoming experience while preparing your preschooler for their first day. One way you might accomplish this is to talk about the care provider's schedule in a manner that instills excitement and fun. For example, you might say:
"Wow, at 10:00 you're going to have circle time. That sounds like fun. What stories do you think they will read?"
"At 11:15, you and the other children are going to sit down and have lunch. I bet having lunch with your friends will be lots of fun!"
"Computer time is right after your nap. Will you teach me what you learn?"
Also, consider sending the items with your toddler in a backpack. This may help get your toddler excited about the first day and can start to help your toddler prepare for kindergarten. It is still a good idea to pack a change of clothes for those occasional eating or outdoor mishaps and, depending upon the weather, a jacket.
Getting prepared for that first day will allow you to focus on your child and help ease their anxiety. To help with your anxiety give the provider a call during nap time or drop in for a visit. Most providers have helped many parents through the first days and will be enthusiastic about providing you with updates on how your child is doing.
© 2002 Sitters.com All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission.
About the Author
Jason Thibeault is a freelance journalist.
Visit Sitters.com for additional guidance on each step of finding child care -- everything from deciding on the type of care that is best for your situation to interview questions. Sitters.com is the leading childcare referral company on the Internet focused on helping parents find the type of care that matches best with the needs of their children. With a directory of over 200,000 child care providers, parents can simply get a list of childcare providers in their local area or do a more comprehensive search on everything from the types of meals a provider serves to seeing which providers use Internet cameras.
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